If Being Afraid Didn't Paralyze

   Picture this, you're standing by your crush: palms are sweaty, heart is racing, and you're dying to kiss them. Every inch of your body and mind is saying, "just go for it, do it..... it feels right", and for the two seconds your arm brushes theirs, you almost go in for the kiss. What stops you? fear. The simple notion that this kiss could "ruin" whatever relationship you have with this person. "What if they don't feel how I feel?" "What if they push me away?" "What if_______" etc..... all these what ifs are stopping us- paralyzing us.
  Being afraid comes in various shapes and sizes; sometimes, you have the person that could go up to their crush and kiss them, but they can't present a speech in English 101 without casting themselves a heart attack. The boy in high school refuses to raise his hand when his teacher asks a specific question, for fear of being wrong, or of being ridiculed by peers. The girl in theatre remains intimidated by someone more extroverted and doesn't audition for fear of not being as good. Bob, the sales clerk in *insert groceries store* has been a devoted employee for 5 years and wants a promotion, but doesn't seek it for fear of rejection. These are just three tiny scenarios that are very real. There are too many people who are getting by by merely surviving, rather than fully living. As Oscar Wilde once said,

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

   It's a tragedy, really to go on merely existing; living within our confinements -- our own restrictions. Because in all honestly, that's what being afraid is.... it's an emotion we've associated with something that frightens us. It's OUR OWN MIND telling us we mustn't enter this so-and-so place, or talk to so-and-so person, or do so-and-so task. Our own mind has kept us captive and we aren't even aware. 

  I don't even know how many times I've been paralyzed by fear - for petty reasons too. I've only met one individual who has marveled through her sudden wants. She and I were having lunch, and she slyly makes a comment about getting a tattoo on her hand - and the next day, to my surprise, I find a picture of her getting that tattoo. She's the type of person, who if she feels strongly about something, she'll tackle it right then and there. It is such a brave, admirable, KICK ASS trait to have. I look to her, and I just think...wow..... if only I had the courage to get my tattoo. But why "if only...." ?! Ifs are poison. I DO have the courage, I CAN get the tattoo, but I won't.
You CAN kiss your crush, you DO have it in you - but you won't.
Won't and Can't are the only bad words I'd like to think matter. They're just words, yet they stop us from going further. 

I asked a couple of my friends, "What would you do if you weren't afraid?"
These are their responses: 

Carlie, Parkland: "I think I would trust people more easily if I wasn't afraid."

Chelsea, Oak Hills, acknowledged she would confront anything and everything that bothered her. "I'd attempt to change the world; be more confrontational and voice my opinion. If I don't like something, strive to change it instead of leaving it as is."  

Nicole, Rancho Cucamonga explained she would live, have fun, experiment. "I would be spontaneous. Do things I've never done and talk to people I've never talked to. And love.... fully! Jump all the way in and reveal all emotions." 



Samantha, Atlanta: "Honestly, fear has kept me from pretty much almost everything I've ever wanted to do. It's held me from taking the steps for making my dreams a reality. It has kept me from getting things I know I deserved."  Samantha hopes to use the negativity being afraid can cast as a fuel for motivation to do all that she loves and all that she is meant to become. 

   It's terrifying, the idea of actually obtaining what we want or receiving reciprocation or getting from point A to point B. I honestly believe that is what scares us most: for me personally, at least. Here, we underestimate our potential, our power and overestimate the "what ifs". I haven't mastered that triumphant "I ONLY FEAR FEAR" state of mind, but I surely hope to take steps towards it. 

What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?
......maybe, just maybe, we should all go on believing we won't fail and see what happens.