This is an issue we all deal with at some point. I've been dealing with this all of my teenage years. All through high school, I appeared as the girl who had it all together: the confident one to take unconventional chances. And although, from ages 16 to 18, I did just that-- it was only because I was hiding. Deep down I knew people mocked me, thought foolish of me, picked things about my personality to make fun of.... it ate me up inside. I was filled with all these insecurities because I saw how others around me deemed me as this young, fragile girl who "tried way too hard".... when all I wanted was to find a way to be me. When I loved, I loved with everything inside of me. When I spoke, I would speak as if someone important were listening. When I expressed, I danced with miss Dramatic. I suppose, I was being entirely dramatic. I just wanted people to see ME. I was always invisible, and I hated it.
For four years I cared way too darn much about what everyone around thought of me. I started becoming scared to like guys in my Drama Department because of what happened my Freshmen year. I literally became a target, and I sank. I held back from going 110% in auditions for the school plays because I allowed the judgement of others make me think I wasn't as good as the girl who did get the lead roles. People's perception of me slowly became the perception I had of myself. It shouldn't be that way. We shouldn't be swayed by anyone's opinion. If someone can't see your worth, then that is their loss. It has taken me this long to grasp that. It's hard not succumbing to the negative wails, it'll be a challenge! Especially for the career I want. I want to be an actress, so I am going to be hearing all sorts of horrible criticism. But you know what? I know my worth. I know my talent. I am aware of the light I contain inside, and my God, does it shine. I may be a young girl who becomes absolutely vulnerable for all that I love - but it's genuine, passionate, and loyal. I deserve the best, and I will strive and FIGHT every damn day to get just that.
“You’re alive. That means you have infinite potential. You can do anything, make anything, dream anything. If you change the world, the world will change.”
| — |
