I just have to rant about my happiness. I feel so incredibly blessed, thankful, and lucky. I don't even know how to express these wonderful feelings!!! It's like, one minute, I am 16 and dreaming - then I'm 18 and seeing those dreams gradually come to life. Okay, I haven't been cast in a TV show/Movie yet... but I'll be living in Los Angeles, California THIS JULY. LA will be my new home. It will be my new surrounding, and I will be starting MY life there. Now, I totally get that what I want to obtain isn't going to be magically given to me... but I can already (almost) check the first step off from my list. I was so afraid and worried I wasn't going to ever see this happen. For the longest time, I was stuck in such a rut, thinking I was destined to settle. But no. That's not my life. God was like, "Brizzy, why are you freaking out so much?! Surrender your troubles to me, and I'll take care of them. I have you. Stop worrying." Once, I prayed (and continue to) about what my future entails, everything just started falling into place. My most cherished family and friends have been praying for me, and have been sending me positive thoughts as well, and it's like... woah.... this can actually happen. THIS IS HAPPENING. I am actually going to go out in the world and tackle my dreams! I CAN'T EXPRESS HOW LONG I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. I was so beyond frustrated because so many plans I had weren't working out, and now I see why. God needed me to be patient. And wow, I feel like crying...
No one understands how emotional I am over all of this (in a good way, of course). It's just... how many 18 year olds can say they're getting their own apartment with two of his/her best-friends to make his/her dreams happen?! Not many... but me? I am making it happen. And what makes me so flabbergasted is that no one is pushing me to do this, no one is pressuring me to start life, no one is even giving me a step-by-step guide on how all of this works. I am stepping into this blind, but ready as ever. And it's just the fact that I am the first from my family to be able to say I am doing this. I am the first from my two sisters, who is moving away from home (with my own money, may I add) to pursue my ultimate passion.
I grew up with a family that always believed one should never leave the nest until marriage. Because in the Hispanic culture, family sticks together until death... no one is ever left to fend for themselves, if you're 35 and jobless? who cares, "Mi casa es su casa" is basically what my extended family believes. But I am the rare one who believes otherwise. No way am I going to wait for some Sancho to "sweep" me off of my feet to leave home. What kind of hell is that?!
I am taking initiative, kicking my family's mold, choosing the tougher path, but nonetheless - the path that will lead me to success. My dad dislikes my plan, and says, I quote him, "Princesses shouldn't have to work a day in their life. Princesses should just sit and look pretty"
I love my dad so much, and I understand he's only afraid to let his baby go, but I am no princess, and I was not brought to life to just sit. My purpose is so big and so great, and I know I will make God proud.
I just cannot wait to experience everything. I've learned so much these last 7 years in the high desert, and I will learn so much more down in the big ol' city of Los Angeles.
I know I will struggle, I understand that things are going to be extremely challenging, I get that sometimes, I won't always hear what I want: I will face a sh*t load of rejection, and sometimes, I will want to rip my best-friends hair out, but that's what life is all about. We have to accept the bitter with the sweet. All I know, is that I am going to fight everyday to stay true to myself, to keep my passions alive, and most importantly, live in the light of my BESTEST FRIEND, God. I just... I love Him so much. Because of Him, this is all possible.
Smiling from cheek-to-cheek, I am.
